From my precarious vantage point I view Entitlement as one of the most destructive and egregious of all human traits and it appears to be on the rise. A pandemic of sorts, where the increasing desire for more and more sends a chill down the backs of those not infected by its insidious symptoms. Not that it hasn’t always been an issue, but it seems to be getting worse with every passing day. Within the upper levels of world powers, Putin feels entitled to annex other nations by force, Netanyahu wants to eradicate Palestinians and take over Gaza, the current US administration has stated that Greenland, the Panama Canal, and even Canada should be owned by this country, China wants absolute control over Taiwan along with other neighboring countries, and on and on. All because of entitlement.
Many of the world’s richest people have made it clear they are not satisfied with their hundreds of billions of dollars. So they feel compelled to continue amassing greater and greater wealth for no other reason than they feel entitled to do so.
For a bit of clarification, let’s go to Wikipedia:
“Entitlement
An inflated sense of what is sometimes called psychological entitlement – unrealistic, exaggerated or rigidly held – is especially prominent among narcissists. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are likely to have a sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others, typically without commensurate qualities or accomplishments. Similarly, the narcissistic personality attempts to protect the vulnerable self by building layers of grandiosity and a huge sense of entitlement. When the subject's entitlement is threatened, they engage in harmful behaviors and will lean on to their image or esteem conjured by the individuals around them. Narcissists may also engage in entitled behavior by increasing their social standing through select interactions.”
This form of social dysfunction is increasing especially in American culture where the wants and needs of some individuals are placed above the good of the community at large. We are steeped in the jargon of the rugged individualist who has a mandate regarding a sense of manifest destiny.
A lot of people tend to regard entitlement as something that is obvious in much of the wealthy classes and indeed it is most noticeable when those people with extraordinary wealth believe they are entitled to more of just about everything. When a vehicle we are driving is cut off by someone in a $95,000 BMW we might immediately say to ourselves, “Entitled bastard.” The thing is that the driver of the BMW feels completely justified in their behavior because they carry a delusional sense of superiority around with them like a badge of honor. The irony is that people with that kind of an arrogant attitude are usually the most insecure among us, needing to prove something by lauding their wealth over others
That sense of entitlement, though most prevalent in the richest members of society, can be found in just about any socio-economic tier. Imagine someone finding a wallet with $80 in cash along with the owner’s ID. Not everyone would keep the money, but there are enough of us “out there” who would pocket the cash and toss the wallet in the garbage. The finder would then justify their actions, most often by telling themselves they need the money more than the person who lost the wallet.
This justification of what some might call unethical behavior seems to be an almost inherent characteristic, though a good number of people would overcome “temptation” by returning the wallet to the owner with cash intact. This is placing the good of the social fabric of the community above that personal sense of entitlement. This may not always be an easy decision, especially if the finder is in need of funds.
I think we are all tempted by a sense of entitlement at times and it’s difficult to maintain a mindful (this is a word that you will find scattered through much of my future offerings) attitude as to how we react within our environment. There are certainly times when I feel entitled to react a certain way. I can feel the self-aggrandizement well up in me, and if I’m not paying close enough attention, it’s easy to react in a harmful manner. I believe we all do this at times, but it comes down to how we keep this emotion driven trait in check.
I wish I had an answer with regard to solving this problem. I highly doubt if I would receive a positive response if I approached Elon to suggest therapy for his “narcissistic personality disorder.” He’d probably have me arrested for even implying he has a problem. The only thing I can suggest is that as many people as possible live by example, by remaining aware of how we interact with others when we feel that sense of entitlement begin to well up, we examine its roots and then dump it into the nearest garbage can where it belongs.
[For further reading I would suggest E. O. Wilson’s remarkable book, The Social Conquest of Earth and/or Yuval Harari’s exploration of the roots of human characteristics, Sapiens. Both of these will give you greater insights into aspects of our innate traits.]
Mindfulness. Good concept to adopt, especially in the midst of entitlement.
Hello Verna,
Thank you again. I will be writing something on the subject of mindfulness in a few weeks. Remaining mindful of our actions and the impact those actions have on others and on ourselves is, at least to me, critical for our survival as a species.
Best,
Tobin
Living in the northern hemisphere, as an American citizen, many of us enjoy prosperity that few have ever experienced at any time in the history of civilization. The generalization is without nuance. But given modern science, a middle to upper class American lives better than did Marcus Aurelius.
This is not what it seems though as a great many of us are bored, every waking day we are in a race with the emptiness in our souls. We are lonely. We are isolated from one another by our lifestyle. And the individualistic ethos, the winner-takes-all capitalism that is our norm feeds the entitlement fever that is a result of our alienated way-of-being. America is a society founded in order to actualize an ideal. The ideals are sometimes summarized as “opportunity”. At present the ideal has become a caricature of what Americans just two or three generations past held as true. The entitlement that we observe, which we resist, – is a symptom of the vacuum, the anomie that too many of us are feeling.
A second point has to do with desire which is natural to all mammals. One of the main tenets of the Buddhist tradition points to “desire” as the nexus of our unsatisfactory human condition. Buddhism offers a practice for tamping down, even eliminating the entitlement attitude and consumption response to external stimuli. There is no question in my mind this is a correct description of the paradox within which every human finds him/herself, particularly Americans.
To continue, the remedy is a practice, a trial and error learning to meet one’s felt needs with the least harm to oneself, others in proximity, society at large, and harm to the earth. Whether this is learned at home from parents, or seated in front of a therapist engaging in difficult dialog, – “know thyself” is a process of learning, taking time and work.
You allude to some of the more common and egregious manifestations of entitlement that we’ve encountered. These behaviors are extreme, and shade into pathology. In Buddhism there is a story of “hungry ghosts.” These are beings in the afterlife that are insatiable in their appetite, in the exponential nature of their lust. They absolutely cannot help themselves, or so it seems. Perhaps someone who has been marinated in selfishness, and wealth, and constant abuse as a youngster after reaching adulthood is likely beyond redemption. I just think the hungry ghost myth applies quite well to many American billionaires as they seem not to feel anything in common with lower class humans.
Finally and more briefly, I appreciate your third from the last paragraph. The temptation to want “more” is universal, part and parcel of our human condition. Paradoxically when one has plenty, the dis-content often grows more acute. Seneca the Stoic Roman Patrician educator and advisor to Nero is said to have said:
Being poor is not having too little, it is wanting more.
I wrote to a friend this morning who commented to me by email. She mentioned “desire” relative to “entitlement”. I understand that these words can be associated and that entitlement doesn’t exist without desire. But we all (or at least almost all) have desires. It’s how we act on those desires and how willing are any of us to cross the line between feeling a sense of desire and believing we are entitled to fulfill that desire. This is where mindfulness comes into play. When we FEEL the NEED for something we have the capacity to either understand why we want something and assess the actual need for that “thing’ or we can move ahead by taking whatever we want without understanding the basis for the desire. Socio-paths do not stop to think about the consequences of their actions prior to acting on them. “I Want! I Take!” Unfortunately some of those types of people end up in positions of authority and when they do, they open the doors to others who have the same propensity for sociopathic behavior. We are currently living through this day to day. As with many situations such as this, I don’t have an answer. I just know that as many of us as possible must live our lives with as much self-knowledge as we can muster. Not an easy ask, but absolutely necessary if our planet is to survive. Thanks for your well thought through response.
Thank you for this. I am grateful that each week you challenge me to do self reflection.
Dean,
Thanks for your encouragement and support. There’s an odd feeling associated with sending one’s thoughts out into cyberspace and hoping they connect with people. For me there is an anxiety associated with this process, much like the hours before I would teach one of my classes. I wanted to connect with the students, to make a difference in how they saw the world and so I would constantly worry. Sometimes it worked and other times it didn’t. It’s really no different here, so thank you again for your kind words.
Thank you for this perspective.
Michael,
Thanks for reading this post. Your POV has always been helpful and informative.
TF