The Human Factor
[WARNING: This post is basically a rant about a large portion of the human inhabitants on this planet (not you though). A Saner version of me will return next week. Thank you!]
Every day on roadways, in newspapers, on television, or just walking down the street, I am confronted with man’s inanity. Now, to be fair, not all of these folks are babbling morons and probably most of them would be very nice if I had the patience to sit down and get to know them. But mostly I just want them to think before acting, driving, speaking, or voting.
I would hazard a guess that most of the people I am demeaning here are just going about their lives, giving little or no thought as to how their actions impact other people. Once again, I’m referencing Mindfulness, something I harp on in almost every other post. And as before, I understand that maintaining a mindful point of view is difficult to incorporate into everything we do.
The term “reactionary” is most often used to describe someone who has embraced an ideology that is way out of the mainstream. But the people I’m discussing are also fully loaded reactionaries. They are reacting emotionally to the world around them without pausing for a moment to give rational thought to their behavior. Yes, our emotions are a critical survival trait. They help us deal with dire situations in a quick and decisive manner. They can also open doors to happiness and fulfillment. Perhaps I’m being harsh or unfair in this judgement, but we all see this behavior unfold daily. Some of us (not me) make the effort to be kind and understanding, but when the world is spiraling out of control, my tolerance level for the aforementioned reactionary conduct is extremely limited.
When unfounded fear is mixed into a cocktail of reactionary emotion, we end up with very bad and sometimes disastrous decisions. Decisions that lead to gun fights, road rage, domestic violence, screaming matches, or, on a really bad day, civil or global wars or heaven forbid, voting for someone like Donald Trump. All of these reactions are fomented by fear and confusion brought on by greed, lack of empathy, moral ambiguity, lust for power, and/or a generally warped sense of self-importance.
I’ve named a number of terrible possibilities, but the concept regarding this kind of character trait manifests itself in smaller ways as well. Mostly through what we know of as Passive-Aggressive Behavior. This can take the form of hurtful comments that have no other purpose than to lash out and cause pain in others. Or when someone throws garbage out their car window or leaves a shopping cart in the middle of a grocery store parking lot. There are thousands of ways people express frustration or pent-up anger by acting out.
In this human experiment that we are all a part of, there are a number of exceptions. In several scientific papers I’ve read recently (Click here for an NPR report on Jean Briggs’s research), the authors discuss the role of emotional manipulation, anger, and passive-aggressive behavior within Inuit societies. What was really fascinating was that most Inuit families rarely express anger, rarely place blame on others, but do use unfortunate situations as teaching tools for their children. For whatever reason the Inuit have come to intuitively understand the nature of dysfunctional behavior and its unhealthy effect on society in general. There is something we could all learn from this approach, but unfortunately it seems as if our way of reacting to life in a hypersensitive and thoughtless manner has become ingrained in most modern societies.
What all of this ranting about people boils down to is a deep disappointment in humanity. That my expectations of people have been and continue to be way out of balance with reality. My wife, Rachel, is well aware of my propensity towards a pejorative attitude, one where I regularly shake my head in disbelief about what I view as a pervasive ignorance in our species. I know that it is unbecoming to be so judgmental. Many of my friends regard this attitude as equally destructive to the meanness we witness. They tell me that love will conquer in the end and that having a positive attitude will be better both for me and for those around me.
I don’t disagree. Relinquishing my frustrations and diminishing my expectations would of course be healthier in the long run. But as I noted in last week’s essay, “How Do I Stop Caring?” it is not in my nature to look the other way or to embrace a sense of happiness when I feel the world imploding from what I perceive as an existential morass of stupidity (there I go again).
I will leave you this week with a story about several 16mm films my family would occasionally show when we were growing up. There was a wonderful Woody Woodpecker cartoon, an odd documentary about a mongoose and a cobra called Killing the Killer, a Felix the Cat short, and a snippet from a Charlie Chaplin film. In the brief Chaplin montage, the scene begins with a view of a street and the words on the screen state, “Easy Street, Where Ignorance is Bliss!” That phrase has stuck with me my entire life. There is a sense of longing in me to be less involved, to not care as much, to be ignorant of the woes of the world. “If only I could live on Easy Street . . .” I used to think. But my mind just doesn’t work that way. Oh well!
I guess I would ask myself first – what am I getting out of being angry? What do I hope to accomplish and why? Sometimes I think it might be for myself is that I’m jealous in a small way. I’m jealous that people can act any way they please and that I don’t allow myself the luxury of reacting stupidity. Why do they get to and I have such a strong moral compass that I’m not allowed to. That’s not all of it of course. Ignorance is frustrating. What I ultimately say to myself is that I’m glad I’m not them.
Jennifer – Thank you for your early morning response. I think that frustration and anger are closely related though I would say the I’m leaning a bit more towards frustration than anger. I do find that both emotions can be motivating if kept in check. When they spill over into being reactionary then we have a problem. Listening stops and any salient communication ends, which is not good for anyone.
It “feels” good and it’s easier to be able to act out or to remain ignorant. Assessment, rational thought, pragmatism all take energy and an ability to question one’s self. This makes a mindful attitude difficult. People, in general, want Easy. I find it interesting that most of us are not afraid of hard work, at least in physical terms. It’s mental work that frightens people. I go back to my essay on my made up word, Agnoscerrophobia, where I believe folks are more fearful of being wrong than perhaps in facing a raging bear. Looking in the mental mirror can be one of the scariest things we can do, but if humanity is going to move forward into a more enlightened age, this self-reflection with regard to behavior is critical. My two cents!
Tobin,
May I parallel your “deep disappointment in humanity” with my deep disappointment in my family? Once my expectations and realistic views of what my family was indeed capable of were altered, I was better able to have a more realistic viewpoint and expectations of my family. Disappointing? Yes, however, I am unwilling to let them bring me down. So, I am learning to:
1. Expect less…
2. Judge Less…
3. Educate more…
4. Never Give Up!
Solutions? Maybe not – but this helps my sanity!
Dean, Thank you as always for your comment.
It seems that every person has their own formula for dealing with the world as it stands. Some ignore it completely while others immerse themselves in the problems to their own detriment. We find that balance point that makes sense to each of us, so I completely understand your position. For me, I can relate to “Educate More” and to “Never Give Up”. As far as expecting less and toning down my judgmental side, those are tough ones. My expectations are cemented into a vision for a saner, wiser, and more rational world. That in itself is crazy and I understand that as well, but I have to have that goal, regardless of the reality of that goal. As I age my tolerance of what I view as idiotic behavior grows shorter and shorter. Perhaps that’s because my own time for having an impact grows shorter by the day. I feel it and a panic ensues in my gut. I’m tired of mean, self-centered people whose only desire in life seems to be beating down others. When I spoke with my sister earlier today sho posed the question of: Why does our family in particular react to injustices with such virulence? We decided that it comes from a family culture that began well over 100 years ago with our own ancestors and their predilection for fighting injustice. So I suppose it’s just in our genes.
Tobin, some things merit ranting over. Humanity taken as a collective can be taken as a despicable and destructive species. I remember the story of Emperor Marcus Aurelius who is reported to have attended the blood-sport games in the arena without enjoyment or attention to the killing. The story goes that he had a stack of paperwork and used the time to make progress on the affairs of state.
We are fundamentally, a standard issue mammal, reactive to external stimuli, especially when desire or fear is involved.
Kindness and self restraint are learned skills are they not? I believe you are certainly correct to link your quest for justice to a family legacy, a practice in language and action and the kinds of films which were attended to as well as enjoyed.
Humans apparently are radically pliable mammals. As a consequence of language and imagination we live in a reciprocal relationship to our environment, the civilization which we inherit and subsequently shape. The radical individualism of the American ethos does not bode well for us, or for everyone else in the world. Individualism shuts down self-awareness in my opinion. Absent self-awareness what is the possibility of receiving anything at all, anything outside of the circle of confidants that think as you do? It is nil.
Why would you stop caring, even with the pain involved? The point of life is the delight of discovering beauty and excellence. Too many are simply unable to bow in recognition of those gifts.
Perhaps neuroscience can explain, in greater detail, whether there is a general genetic predisposition towards egotism or anti-social behavior or whether, in most cases, it is a learned behavior. I want to believe that most humans are born with curiosity, wonder, and a spirit of inclusion and cooperation. And that it is the environment, whether that means parental dysfunction or the world at large, that creates the monsters that roam the streets of society. On the other hand, perhaps our selfish and destructive tendencies are a self-fulfilling prophecy that has become ingrained in our character and that kindness and mindfulness are the outliers. I certainly agree that the mindset of individualism and manifest destiny are driving civilization (if we can call the society we live in “civilized”) towards the edge of extinction. At one point in our mutual history the drive for self aggrandizement may have been beneficial from an evolutionary perspective, but it has now become blindingly untenable. We do what we can, even if, at times, it seems fruitless.