Mindfulness
From my perspective, there is an extremely important message and meaning associated with the word Mindfulness. As long as I continue to write these weekly perspectives, I will come back to Mindfulness over and over again in postings such as next week’s offering on Subjectivity. Mindfulness is of such consequence because I believe it offers an essential path in life where all of us can discover a true home on this earth, to really connect to everything and everyone around us.
By keeping the essence of this word in our thoughts, and thus our actions, on a daily basis we alter how we view the world along with it having a long-term effect on our health and peace of mind. From my perspective Mindfulness is the antithesis of Entitlement (Click to read post). I describe it here as the “antithesis” based on how words are defined, because Mindfulness and Entitlement represent completely different ways of living life, but not necessarily opposites.
With Mindfulness, we are consistently self-assessing our motivations to make certain we are not causing someone else undo distress or pain through unwarranted behavior. So that when we approach any situation, we do our best to remain outside of the confines of our subjective nature. The process is not an easy one. We need to attempt to understand not only our own emotional filters, but we must also remain aware that everyone has a personal history and limitations they bring to any interaction.
For example, if we are about to relate a story or an opinion, can we stop, just for an instant prior to speaking, to think about the impact and the consequences of expressing our words? Will our assertions add to the conversation? What do we hope to achieve by uttering the ideas we offer? Is our statement meant as self-aggrandizement or perhaps to belittle another person? Will our words cause harm or pain?
It doesn’t take very long to assess our thoughts prior to speaking. The questions we ask ourselves can be answered in a flash, because we pretty much already know the answers when we are Mindful. By engaging in this self-editing we add so much more to any interaction and lessen the potential of conflict.
This way of thinking also applies to our actions. Do we really “need” to buy that new, larger television? Does slowing down to allow someone to merge while we’re driving have any impact at all on our arrival time? Is it really inconvenient to return the shopping cart to the stall where it belongs? Small things, but they lead to a Mindful life where we embrace consideration and kindness over a sense of entitlement and unconscious aggressive behavior.
In my previous post I wrote about Wisdom. I don’t believe it’s possible to attain Wisdom without first maintaining a Mindful life. The other five words used to describe Wisdom [empathy, curiosity, love, kindness, and knowledge] are the same words that we need to keep Mindfulness in the forefront of our day-to-day actions.
Imagine, as John Lennon so eloquently wrote, a world where national leaders would make decisions based on what is best for the population and not their own personal agendas or bank accounts. Where the heads of corporations, state legislators, city council members, school board officials and everyone in a position of crafting laws and regulations act Mindfully during the process. We would have a very different ethos, one where there is realistic hope for humanity’s future.
Ultimately it is up to each of us to choose whether we are willing to live a Mindful life. A life that not only creates greater peace of mind for those who do make that choice, but also to act as examples to others, encouraging everyone in our immediate circle to find the same sense of fulfillment and serenity. Resetting the entire world on a path towards Mindfulness is a long shot, but we must do our very best to at least try.
I wish that I could tell you that I’m squarely on this path, that I’m a Mindful person who considers all of my motivations before speaking or acting. I’m not, though I have that aspiration. I can see the path, but many times I react without thinking through why I’m saying or doing something. At 73, the time I have left on earth exacerbates a frustration with only partially reaching my goals and living Mindfully is one that I may not be able to fully achieve. But a perspective on the issues of aging is for another offering down the road.
In the meantime, it's always good to remember we are but an infinitesimally small dot in the midst of an extraordinary universe. That we are lucky enough to be alive to witness the grandeur of nature and humanity’s amazing accomplishments regardless of our fallibilities. We must do everything we can not to let this go to waste, to preserve the good and place our self-destructive tendencies in the past. Mindfulness is our key.
Like you, I too wish I could say that I am also 100% on this path. It certainly is my goal. As an atheist, I hope to one day reach full “mindfulness” as I hope to leave the world a better place. This takes a profound teaching from my beloved Uncle Shelly to a higher level. This helps me build on one of his most valuable lessons I learned. Thank you.
Dean, I’m profoundly sorry I wasn’t able to meet Uncle Shelly. You’ve told me great stories about him and I like yo think we would have hit it off. Mindfulness is something that is achievable for each of us, but it takes a lot of work. It’s also something we can help each other with, as Uncle Shelly did by remaining an example. Thanks, (as always), for your thoughts!
Tobin
Tobin, this is a expansive topic. I am interesting to discover how you will develop this theme going forward. I think there are two pivotal questions that echo in our minds. The first is: What should I do here and now? The second is: What do I want? Mindfulness practice is linked to the second question.
We are language enabled mammals, and as a consequence it is our lot to be distracted. How many of the old myths turn upon the hero ensnared, seduced by distraction, losing him/herself, then violating their essential nature, acting inadvisedly? The old Adam and Eve story comes immediately to mind.
Presently I am reading to learn more about Stoicism. The old Stoics maintained that emotion was an aspect of reason and thus they were subject to examination, and moderation. Feelings were considered pre-emotional, sensations triggered by external events. A Stoic practitioner of mindfulness worked to get better and better at understanding the source of their desires, to speak and act according to reason. The Stoic faith amounted to recognizing that while externals were outside of our control, our internal state of mind/heart is up to us.
It is well known too that Zen practice is a variety of mindfulness. The chatter of the mind is given space and time to become calmed, in order to clarify what one’s heart desires.
So, write on! This is a subject and exploration that is timely, as we certainly live in a chaotic time.
Tobin, I have a somewhat different idea of what mindfulness is. For me, it means more like being present to what I’m doing and where I am. It’s experiencing “what is” for me here and now — whether I’m on a walk, making a sandwich, or visiting with a friend.
I find myself rebelling against what you’re saying about mindfulness because it seems like a constant analysis, a self-examination against a set of criteria or principles. (I’m being mindful of my reaction to your words!) Your mindfulness sounds difficult and bound to show me how I fall short. I prefer my definition because it brings me delight and an appreciation of the world and the people that surround me.
Verna,
Thank you so much for your thoughts on this subject. I agree that the form of mindfulness I’m espousing is difficult, but at least to me, it is something that is essential to practice with regard to how we as a species survive. What I may not have made clear is that my perspective does not mean that we have to be constantly on alert for inappropriate behavior, but to remain aware of our motivations when it comes to the really important interactions. Being in the present moment is certainly something that many of us don’t take advantage of and is just as important a part of being mindful as that self-examination I’ve discussed. And being joyful and appreciative of the benefits of being alive are things that I overlook too often, having my mind rather trapped in the cynicism that engulfs me most days. Not a good thing, so thank you for that reminder.
Best,
Tobin
A welcome clarification, Tobin. I have a strong cynical bone, too, so I wish us both Get Out of Cynical Jail Free cards that don’t expire.
Bravo Tobin! By simply remembering to consider, even for a second, the effects of our thoughts, words or deeds before hand we can bring much peace into our own and others worlds. The trick is to remember to do it so that eventually it becomes a habit.
As I noted in my piece, I firmly believe that trying to remain as mindful as possible is a critical part of humanity’s survival. It is not an easy trait to incorporate, but, as you mentioned, through practice we can become much more aware of our daily routine. Thank you for your friendship and for what you have brought to both the world in general and to my own journey.