How Do I Stop Caring?
Life is filled with roadblocks, detours, dead ends, and various nightmare scenarios. I don’t mean to imply that this is all there is. Of course there are times of unbounded joy, of reveling in the wonder of nature, and of our love for each other. Times when we can wash away the ugliness we read about in the daily news, to find peace of mind and joie de vivre.
But then, at least for me, the darkness returns in bucketfuls. Authoritarian dictates, climate disasters, income inequality, racism, genocide, greed, entitlement, misogyny, and on and on and on. All pounding so many of us down into a pulp of dystopian skepticism.
I can feel my pulse quicken and my blood pressure spike when I hear the sound of Trump’s voice. My fists clench listening to Netanyahu justify the murder of thousands of innocent civilians or when RFK Jr. guts the Center for Disease Control because it doesn’t fit his psychotic inner narrative. There are so many of these examples, it’s difficult not to list them all. But I do my best to limit these essays to 1,000 words or less and it would be easy to write 50,000 words and still not complete the array of atrocities being perpetrated on humanity by greedy, small-minded men.
So I sit here wondering how to survive, how to keep breathing, how to keep from being swallowed by the tsunami of idiocy that blasts its way into my brain. Sticking my fingers in my ears doesn’t work (I’ve tried it). Neither does avoiding newspapers or television since the news permeates our culture regardless of how we might want to sequester ourselves in a sensory deprivation chamber.
It seems the only way to practice self-preservation is by not caring, or perhaps at least not caring as much. My problem is that I have always cared about the world around me, way too much.
A few years ago I began a project I called, The Children Shall Inherit (click here for the website). As many of my friends know, this effort came about because I would see a sweet-faced child on the street or in a restaurant and I would feel sucker-punched by the knowledge of the kind of world I am leaving to this innocent child. A child who has no idea of what lies ahead. I had always felt that I had a responsibility to hand off an environment, both physically and culturally, that would be better than the one I was born into. This mindset was based on what I believed to be a fair, just, and equitable life.
I failed, even though setting a goal as lofty as fixing the world was completely unrealistic. And yet I know I could have done more, much more. With the Children Shall Inherit project I could have gone to Al Gore’s Climate Reality Group in DC and sat in the lobby until I was either given an audience to make my pitch or was arrested. But I didn’t. Instead I sent out 140 copies of the proposal along with letters and background information to nonprofit groups throughout the country. Not a single response. I have not given up on this, but for the moment the project is on the far back burner.
The bottom line is that I’m tired. I’ve been worn down, which I believe is the intent of those who would like people like me to just disappear. They understand that if they just lie enough, put up enough roadblocks, create enough suppressive laws, foment enough fear, that they can build a society that fits their point of view and to hell with anyone who disagrees. And, unfortunately, it seems to be working.
Still I push forward to my own detriment. My stress levels are through the roof and that’s not particularly good for a longer life. So I ask myself: How do I stop caring? How do I at least step back a bit and form a less involved perspective, because it feels as if it has to be all or nothing? How do I alter a lifetime of wanting to make the world a better place for future generations? All of these questions are rhetorical, though I anticipate there will be varied advice or opinions made of this offering. Ultimately, at least to me, there is no correct answer. I know that I can hide my head in the sand and hope that when I re-emerge the world will have fixed itself. But that’s even less realistic than believing I could make a difference in the first place.
One of the older political adages is, “Think Globally and Act Locally.” I understand that phrase and agree with it, sort of. I would like to believe this way of approaching the myriad issues we face would be applicable, but I’m afraid it’s only partially effective. That doesn’t mean that everyone who wants to make a difference shouldn’t act locally, but without a broader, more global perspective, nothing we do at a community level will change the attitudes of those in power or the overall downward spiral of society as a whole. At least not in time to save us from self-annihilation.
It is only through a massive Cooperative effort that it would be possible to change course, and I don’t see that happening anytime soon. We humans seem too egocentric to work hand in hand on a grand scale. We all think we have THE solution [we don’t] and unless we begin to believe in the inclusive nature of the greater good, we are sunk.
So I guess I’ll keep my head above the sand, continue to feel rather powerless, and carry on with my relatively feeble attempts at trying to save the world. I realize this may come across as somewhat arrogant, but I don’t see any other way to live my life.
Never stop caring! Keep on living according to your values! And spread the word, even if only among a small circle of friends. Things do go viral, and may make a difference. Apparently the anti-plastics movement is happening. I was just shopping for shampoo bars that come packaged in cardboard on Amazon, where they have become very popular. Will it make a difference? Maybe. Will it help if I remind people about the new plastics recycling program in my town (sponsored by Hefty bags)? I don’t know, but it’s what I can do!
Thank you Anne. You are a kindred spirit when it comes to caring about our communities and our planet. And thank you for your note of encouragement. Most importantly the fact that you are making headway with plastics mitigation, incremental or more widespread, is fantastic. YAY!
Tobin just a few thoughts. Clearly what is occurring is a worldwide phenomenon. Autocracy is appealing when enough working class feel left behind. Certainly this is partly fact in our country, and in part illusion that is fostered by relentless advertising, and social media which in some cases is quite craven. When confused, subject to market forces that are overwhelming, the innate insecurity common to everyone of us is driven off the scale. Children believe that father knows best, – they always do even when father is a monster.
I think it is better, more human to care, than not. Not everyone has the capacity to care. Care as one might, it is not up to anyone of us to save the world. “The world” has a life of its own and is not amenable to saving. This Trump assault is the unveiled blitzkrieg that began with the Reagan years it seems to me. Perhaps it began in the beginning with the slave holding that was not dealt with at the very inception of the country. This is not new just now the mask is no longer needed…
You are tired. I am tired. I have met many tired people lately. No help for being tired. Life just wears on us, as the years click by. I keep telling myself to practice self-care, keep taking care of mind and body. – then do good work.
Is a cooperative effort in the works to divert the downward spiral of society as a whole? No one can say. I agree that nothing less than a massive Cooperative effort will be enough to bend the ravenous trajectory of scorched earth capitalism. Profit Uber Alles. Where is the coalition to save the earth to begin? Japan? Europe?
The future is undetermined. And the Trump plunder will burn itself out.
Jerry – In one of your recent posts on Every Angel you mentioned stepping back from a sense of world care to focus more on your personal life, (I hope I have this correct). Mostly for the sake of your peace of mind and well-being and that of your family. I understand that mindset and do not in any way mean to place my own sense of responsibility onto others. We all must do and act in ways that express who we are as individuals. As self-destructive as it appears (and it is) with regard to concerning myself with problems of the world at large, this is who I have always been. I’ve never been very successful at this endeavor, but that hasn’t stopped me from trying. In 1968 at Berkeley High School, I started a group called the Conservation Club. I made up a short notice about the goals and had lapel pins made up that had our name on it along with an image of a Redwood Tree. We only had three members since politics and drugs were much more on the minds of the student population. I’ve never stopped trying and at my age, I doubt if I ever will.
Tobin, had I a clue about your interest in conservation when you apprenticed in my carving shop some fifty-six years ago, your and my trajectory would have been remarkably altered.. and God knows how many trees would be still standing. Stop by sometime and I’ll show you why.
I’m one that has become I would say, 90% immune. I don’t listen to news radio or tv news or read newspapers. On my phone I happily scroll over anything to do with politics and again, I’ve been successful. Not to doubt you too much but are you really making a concerted effort to avoid it and if not, why?
A valid question. I find that it is my nature to be not only curious about the world around me but to be interactive as well. There are times that I want to sequester myself, but I feel worse avoiding what I feel is my responsibility as a citizen of the world than when I read about the myriad and existential problems we are facing. Hope this makes sense.