Why I Write These Pieces
Many of us are acutely aware that isolation is a serious problem in today’s culture, that we no longer listen to one another and that we seem to have given up on finding the common ground so important in working together to solve problems. We all see people who are fixated on their phone screens seemingly unaware of their environment. In fact, the cover story from the February 2025 edition of The Atlantic Monthly goes into great detail about the move towards individual isolation, where we focus more on flat screen televisions and a phone screen than interpersonal, one to one communication.
Somewhere in us, we know this is destructive, but then we take out our own phones to look up the topic of “Too Much Phone Time” and become another cog in the problem. I do that. I admit that putting down my phone or even (heaven forbid) turning it off can be more than difficult.
And when we do interact with others in cyberspace, we’re more likely to sequester ourselves in small echo chambers where we find like-minded people who won’t challenge our notions. We find ourselves in endless feedback loops we’ve created for ourselves, much like the figure in the cage in my logo.
All of this is fairly self-evident. There have been countless articles and news segments about the issues surrounding our descent into isolation. Still, regardless of all of the news about this issue, our species continues along this darkening path with no conclusion in sight.
Personally I long for connection. When I have lunch with my friend Jerry or when Rachel and I meet up with our friend Dean, hours can go by and we are still coming up with new subjects to discuss. Other chores or perhaps an appointment is what will curtail those conversations rather than hitting a wall of silence. I mention this because interaction with others is a large part of why I’m writing these pieces. I’m offering my thoughts as a way of connecting and if I’m really lucky, people will respond and we’ll begin a new dialogue where I can learn as well.
Of course there are other reasons why I write these pieces, for nothing is ever as simple as it seems. As an example, when I jot down a potential subject matter to write about, I know that I’m going to have to do a fair amount of reading in order to bring life to the discussion. Even though much of what I formulate is based on my own personal observations, it’s important that those observations have at least a modicum of corroboration from other sources.
As I wrote to a friend recently, other motivations might stem from genetics (my father was constantly attempting to discuss his philosophy), narcissism, a sense of altruism, or perhaps an amalgam of everything mentioned.
But above all else, I believe that it’s because I want to make a difference. At 73, I understand that each day I remain on earth is a gift, another chance to offer my observations and insights while my curiosity hungrily seeks out the perspectives of others. I want to think that most people have this same desire, to gain better understanding of their environment, to connect, to listen, and to offer their own insights, but there are many times when I’m not sure this is the case.
This is when my pessimistic nature kicks in. I hear so many talking heads pontificating about “the problem” or blasting away at those with whom they disagree or telling us they have THE answer. There are many times I believe that the solutions I suggest are clear and salient until it’s pointed out how I’ve misread the nuances of the issues at hand. So even though I may not have grasped the entirety of the various concerns, of one thing I’m 100% certain, and that is that only through listening, offering ideas, and true dialogue can we human creatures find the solutions we so desperately need in order to survive.
There are surely other reasons why I’m writing down my perspectives and placing them on public display. Hopefully I will uncover them as I move through the process of formulating my thoughts. And as I do, I will try to share them with you.
For now, I thank you for reading my words and genuinely encourage you to participate in any and all discussions that may pique your interest.
It is simply impossible to avoid the bias of viewpoint due to the various factors that you detailed. Face to face dialog is what we are missing. Living at this time in history, technology grants us powers that past generations could not have imagined, but also has physically separated us, forcing us into near anonymity.
I agree with you, it is well worth the effort to formulate ones thoughts into a coherent message at the prospect of receiving comment, added perspective on what one has in mind. This is no matter of mere amusement, of passing the time. I believe that we absolutely depend upon perspectives which only others may share with us. On our own, we can see only so far, or so much. That alone will never be enough. This is the crux of the matter with talking-heads, contracted to write or to comment whether or not they have anything they’ve bothered to think about to offer. Just adds all the more to the noise. Conversation, which is intentional, considered, is our lifeline. We are humanized, helped to feel more human when we can engage in an exchange which turns out to be more than we anticipated.
Keep writing. I and others could not do without these weekly submissions.
Without feedback of some sort, offerings such as the ones I’ve been posting are a bit like what I imagine the sound of a scream in space might be. The intent to make a noise is there, but nothing is heard. So I thank you whole-heartedly for your comment. It is a confirmation that all isn’t for naught.
It is not for naught! There are many of us who treasure your work! I am not a writer, but I do enjoy and appreciate your writing. Each week I anticipate what is next. I love our conversations together and prefer the “belly to belly” or “face to face” interactions! However, your writing – It makes me ponder and stimulates my brain when it otherwise would not be challenged. Thank you!
And thank you once again my dear friend.
I think from an introverts perspective, gathering in groups can be exhausting. I’m okay with one on one but I have to know the person really well and even then, I’ll reach my limit within about 45 minutes at most.
Maybe not in New York but in California, I feel like you can never have a real conversation. Agreement is always the goal and disagreements are looked down on. The talk has to stay ‘nice’. Also exhausting.
If I feel that I’m becoming too fixated on the screen, I do force myself to make a lunch date. But again, I love my screen. It’s calming, it doesn’t ask me for anything, it doesn’t need anything from me, I can be whomever I want to be. And I can leave the conversation whenever I want and it won’t be offended. 🤣
Jenny
First, thank you for your great insights. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your thoughts on this.
I get that a screen can be a comfort. The article I referenced in The Atlantic discusses obsessive isolation mostly centered around technology. I use my computer to work on my writing and I’m responding to your comment using my phone, but I know when it’s time to meet face to face or actually touch another person (appropriately). In addition there was a news article today about three teenage girls in Texas who tried to kill (literally) their mother because she unplugged the internet in their house. I realize this is an overreaction and not the norm, but it says something about the struggle some people have of letting go of that connection.
Besides, we’ve talked about our mutual dislike of larger groups and that kind of socializing. My main concern for our fellow Homo sapiens is the addictive nature of technology to the point of losing the social skills we had up until the past few decades. Putting down this electronic tether every so often and reconnecting with another human is really all it takes. My 2 cents.
T
As a result of waking early today, here I am at Starbucks at 6:30 AM. It is quiet with two other customers in the space and two Baristas. I believe that we must intentionally make use of the time which our circumstances allow to be “good company” with ourselves. I mean to say calming ourselves to pay attention to our bodily state/thought process, especially while reading something, Thoreau comes to mind. Reading on a page seems important I think, because a physical book, and pages are tactile. The Mind is not a fundamentally different essence than a body. Even though a literal eternal soul makes no sense to me, still I think that “good company” needs to flow through to our souls.
When I practice “good company” with myself, I find that I am more likely to seek similar “good company” with others. Goes without saying that not everyone is able to be good company. Some are bone-deep toxic and I avoid them if and when I can.
Some thoughts on treatment for the state of anxiety which we suffer as a result of our isolation.
Keep sharing everyone!